Category: Dating and Relationships
Hi,
Well This guy and I have been going out for 2 weeks, and I'm wondering what should happen if we can't meet each other?
Do we break up? or do we stay together? I'm confused I love this guy very much *smiles* so someone plz reply? I need love advice.
Sincerely,
Karrie
Hi Carey. Someone else might say differently, but i'd say probably end it. Long distance relationships for me just don't work. You need the closeness a human can give you not a screen reader. Sure cyber screwing is fun, but when you need a hug, or if you get scared, an aww babe it's ok over the net or phone possibly just ain't gonna fly. Plus how do you know he won't cheat on you? just my thoughts.
yes, but vel what if the person is one state away like Illinois?
How difficult is it to visit them? If it is, then it's a long-distance relationship. If it's easy to see them, then it's not so long-distance after all. The actual distances involved aren't as important. If you're in the same state, in small towns a couple hours away, with no reliable transportation, it's pretty long-distance. If one person is in Washington DC and the other is off in Maryland, and you're a train ride away, it's not such a big deal.
my first question would be? What are you calling going out. Going out is Dating and i never got the concept of people talking on line going out --- but that is my perception. now as far as the long distance thing goes -- you have to be the one to decide if not seeing someone is good enough for you. as for me. dateing is the first step hopefully in a relationship and I do not see how it can grow if you dont physically meet. good luck in what you decide.
the old man
tnmajic
buyt is Wisconsin and IL? is tht bad?
End it, LDRs are the pits they never work and those that do are few and far between. The first LDR was my first boyfriend, our relationship lasted 8 months. The end of that one was he cheated on me, I found out from someone else and when he admitted it it was over. LDR #2 is in the same state as me, only transit doesn't exist in my town so I would have to rely on my parents either driving me to the mall where there is transit available which is a good half hour drive or they drive me completely. That one failed because his greedy exgirlfriend couldn't keep her friggin paws off him and understand that he's dating other people, to just move on. If you can trust him and be able to see him more then once a year then great by all means if you're happy go for it, if not then end it and end the hassle of having to go through the pain that you did all of the work and the man did not.
it also depends on how secure you are. Do you trust he won't look at another girl? I've just gone through this and I choose not to ellaborate, but the point is I got very insecure something happened. I found out nothing did, so I think i'd go crazy he was doing somethign that would worry me. Plus gummy you shouldhave your own oppinion and do what's best for you.
Hey girl, sup? Go for it if you really love the guy, if your worried about the distance then just go along with what you feel. If you are for each other then love will find a way for the both of you. If you feel that its not work because of the distance then just fallow your heart on what to do. Ok I wish you good luck
Have to say i havent got a grate oppinon of long distence relationships. It all depends on how long your going to be away from each other but it's not the perfect sort of relationship. But it's up to you.
Well, I have a long-distance relationship as well and as long as you have the chance too meet in the near or distant future, I would not break up if I were you.
I think it depends upon when and with what frequency you will be able to visit one another. You mentioned that meeting wasn't possible. For what reason? Did you mean meeting would never be possible or just for right now? Message me on AIM, and we'll chat.
well firstly, and I know this has been said before, and I know there are those who might disagree with me, but I really do not think that you can say you are "going out" with someone you have never actually met. yes I think it is possible to have very deep feelings for someone based on what you know about their personality online and on the phone, but how you can say you are bf/gf when you have never met in person is a mystery to me, still, each to their own, and if that is the way you see your relationship, you need to thin about whether meeting up is possible/likely. if not, then there is no future. if so, then you should meet up and see if these online feelings ar the same in real life, and take it from there. long distance relationships can work, I had one for two years and things did work out, but you both have to be committed to make it work, and not get too disheartened, because it's then that htings start to go wrong.
Well all right, but I think if you meet sometimes, you can definitely say you're going out with each other.
i definitely think that if the love is there, things will work out. if you really love your partner, then love can win anything, at least in my oppinion. best of luck to you.
I agree with my friend Love4All I'm in a long distance relationship too and if you really love him and you leave it up to God and I'm not tryijng to preach or anything but just pray and leave the rest up to God, I wish you the best of luck, and God Bless you.
I totally agree, Saiyan4414.
nope sorry I disagree totally. Having faith is all very well, and I respect anyone who believes, but believing that god will make it happen just doesn't work. sure, believe that if it is meant to happen then it will, but if you want a relationship to work, then you, that's *you* and *your partner*, have to work at it!
I haven't had good luck with long distance relationships, but I haven't had good luck with guys living near me, either, so I can't really say. I agree with Tony and Ines on this one. I think if God wills two people to be together, He will make it possible. Might be hard but possible. I just met a guy I like, and he likes me, and we met at camp. He lives in Paris, Texas, and I live in Plano, Texas. We're not going out because we just met. But I like him a little and... well I'm just putting it in God's hands.
Find someone who actually lives close enough to fuck, and who you can keep an eye on, it isn't worth trusting people in distance, usually they will just stab you in the back, only known of one that's worked out.
thanks for helpin us out guys, we really apreciated it, think we'll just keep the relationship goin cuz thats what i wanna do and i think gummybear16 does too
If she's going for you she has worste taste then I do.
That was rude. No, I think, just go for it. It can work very well.
My opinion on this subject is that, first of all, you aren't going out until you actually physically go out somewhere together. However, there can certainly be a possibility of noticing special qualities in a person and wanting to explore them further following some Internet and/or phone discussions. If you want to keep exploring these possibilities and if it is possible that you could arrange to meet, continue. If meeting will be unduly difficult, talk as friends but consider a relationship very much out of the cards. That's my two cents.
blindguy, leave Kevin and Karrie alone; they're my friends, and they have WAAAY better taste than you do!
I'll reply in kind after work so I don't get fired for speaking the cold hard truth.
Oh you shut up and leave them alone. You have no life just insulting innocent people like that it gets old so knock it off and go waste your filthy words and insults somewhere else. I believe Kev and Karrie asked for advice, not bullying. And I hope you get fired.
still working, I love sql.
Well back to the topic. I do think there is a difference between people who have met personally but don't live near each other, and pure internet relationships. I do think that internet relationship are more difficult and I agree that you can not say then "we are going out". You can only say that if you met this person.
gummybear16 you don't know what love is, you can't think it's going to wonderfully work out after two weeks of just talking to the person online and through the phone. Face it you need to step back, decide if you are emotionally ready for a relationship, and if you want to put up with all the bullshit that goes with distance.
what's SQL? I'm curious now!
yes, blindguy, i am sorry but i disagree with you, as for evreyone else, i think it would be wise to keep the relation ship going if you want to. i think if you like someone and you want to have a relationship, have it and be happy, if you cant be happy, then dont do it at all
blindguy, what kind of bull shit are you talking about? let karrie do what she wants to do. if any of you don't like karrie or you don't like anyone else, don't talk to them or don't even post because that just just makes them madder
ok now I must say blindguy you are the complete lose... and I hate ur guts, and I can choose who I want thank you, and I know for sure Id never fucjk u in the 1st place... so now I must go and rant on something...
Learning to type out a sentence coherently is a wonderful skill work on it, and sweety I know I can get a lot better fucks then you so no loss. SQL is standard query language, it lets you access a database, it powers this sight.
Um, I hope this will not be a total argument now. But I think, as an advice: As long as you know you will meet one day, or at least you intend it, keep it going.
guys, can i say, this is very sad. if ppl aruge like those two blindguy and whoever r, then, y bother going out. i can tell its so rickety and rockety and from my experience, the more u hold on, the bitterer it gets if all u do is fight. Sorry guys that my post has nothing to do with long distance relationship advice, but may i point out, more than half of the other posts dont either. cya.
Chass I agree.
I don't agree with internet relationships if you cannot meet the person. If you can arange to meet them, than fine, but if you're never going to meet and just see each other online it won't work. Sure it may be fun, and I'd probably do it, but more for fun than actually having strong emotions. Its not that i don't care, but I just think that a good relationship requires people to be together, and being online doesn't fall under that category. Best of luck to both of you. Oh and with the look of the URLs, this site looks like its powered by PHP.
Nik, I made the same experience.
I only agree some Nik. Even if they do end up seeing each other, u never fully know what the other person will be like. People act one way on the net, and totally different on the phone or when u meat. Drawing from personal experience.
I see your point but still it is better to meet than just to have a relationship via the net.
oh whats the use of the topic now when the relationship in question is a t a lets um say stand still?
i agree with niko, formula1999 and with ines, u all make good points, i'm sayin that you're wrong or right, i mean, like i said many times, we're all entitled to our oppinions .
Well for someone who had experiences with both real life and online/long distance relationships, I'd like to say that yes, long distance relationship can work out if both parties have conditions to meet, preferebly several times a year, otherwise it's sort of pointless. I'd also like to agree with those who say that it can not realy be called a relationship till you actually meet someone. Sure you could be very much atracted to someone you met online and have really deep feelings for them and thyere's nothing wrong with that and as long as you intend to meet soon it should be fine, but I'd never commit my self to anything serious till I met this person. Another thing in long distance relationship that is important in my opinion is compromise. For example, let's say that 2 partners who are in LD relationship and have decided that the best thing would be to move to 1 another areas, one of them has to make that compromise and leave what they have behind and move to the area of where their partner is. Again, if you're ready for that and are in love so much that you think that moving is worth it, no reason why you couldn't go for it. I almost did it once, a relatinship broke up for other reasons, not distance, but if both partners really do love each other and are ready to work for it, LD relationship sure can be possible, you just need to be carefull and not rush in to things and make sure that you're able to meet before committing your selvs to serious relationship.
I went out with a girl for about lets say 2 and half years, so yeah I believe it can work out, if you trust the person well enough and willing to make it work. I only broke up with this girl only because she was treating me like crap.
Thats all I really have to say for now.
Me, personally, I am not a fan of ldr's. They have never seemed to work for me, everytime I am in an ldr, I want to be with that someone, and meet then and such. I am the kind of person who requires the closeness, and the touch of my partner, but to each their own. Some people can handle it and others can't. I personally say no, but in the end ultimately, it is your decision!
But imagine the joy when you finally meet. Lol last time, I was simply speechless.
Ha true true
I'm talking from my own experience, it is really a special moment.
if you both want it to work eventually it will. You have to trust each other and do your best by each other. I think you also need to no when your going to be able to meet so that you can use it as a goal otherwise your relationship won't be quite as meaningfull because you don't no how it will end really. Just my view compleetely up to you what you do and good luck
Well, I am afraid that this topic, have long been exhausted, and is out of date, M, but that doesn't diminish your view on it. I will however add one thing. I have read this board today and the numerous comments that were posted. and I will say that everyone is right. By this, I mean that many long distance relationships have failed, because they did not have one or all of the four ingredients which I will now list. Love, determination, regular contact, and last but not least, definite plans to meet. Remove one of them, and it is lost, don't even try.
I will also say that this topic has been stretched to its limits. However, the fact that one might be atempting a long-distance relationship is disturbing. I find that the point of love and affection between 2 people is to be able to show PHYSICAL affection as well as the bondage and words shared.
I must agree with the count and tartis on this one. If you don't have those four things, the relationship is gone, history, si ya.
I agree with the Count. These four things must be for hte relationship to have a remote probability.
Just be very careful in those you pursue eonline, and good luck!
specially
for net, it is just a media for one another to keep in touch. the most important above all is that both party must have the regular basis on meeting one another. maybe twice a year, or more than that. and, in a long distence relationship, alwas remember that do not count on how much you give and how much you get for return. cause it is pretty hard to massure on what you gane and what you give. do the best for your partner, he / she will do the same to you if he / she really love you.
I'm currently in a long distance relationship myself and it's hard work. My advice is do not enter a relationship like this, unless you are truely in love with a particular person. I've been in more than one, and have failed because of the distance.
agreed, every long distance relationship I have ever been in has failed miserably, so I advise against them.